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Another misdirected email
Hi Sammy,
Just a note to tell you that Uncle Fred and I are thinking of you and wishing you well at college—and to ask if this is the email address where I can send your birthday present.
Love,
Aunt IvyHi Aunt Ivy,
Thanks! All is well here at college so far. Hi to Uncle Fred.
Sam -
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Me: HEY FUCK YOU! Wait, why am I yelling at shipping rates?
Him: Do you enjoy being angry?
Me: Yes. Yes I do!
Him: Carry on, then!
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
This is giving Florence & the Machine’s cover of “Halo” a run for its moneyz.
Only Girl In The World (Rihanna Cover) by Ellie Goulding
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Sorry, Wrong Number
Email from Missouri area code.
Them: I was jus tryn this 2 see if it wks
Me: It doesn’t work.
Them: If it didnt wk i wouldnt b talkin 2 u haaaa. So u gonna b commin home soon cuz it looks like rain n im n bed bout 2 go 2 sleep.
Me: Nope, I’m going out for a while. I have a taste for some WHISKEY! YEEEHAW!
Them: Ok im goin 2 sleep. Get some cids n food. Lol see ya when u get home honey. Love ya Big Daddy!!!!
Me: Okay, when I get home, make sure you have the caterpillar suit on!
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I was so close
[15:53] <Spockers> damn you mitten.
[15:54] <Spockers> I just had all my dice in my mouth and was trying to figure out how to grab my camera when it occured to me what I was doing.
[15:54] <Assmitten> WOOOO
[15:54] <Assmitten> I win
[15:54] <Assmitten> NOw I have a little tear
[15:54] <Spockers> Hmm, and now I’m missing my d4
[15:55] <Spockers> I could fit way more, btw
[15:55] <Spockers> I could probably fit the figurine in too, and also a super ball
[15:55] <Assmitten> Ok, I would totally subscribe to your camwhore channel
[15:55] <Assmitten> HOTT MOUTH CRAMMERS
[15:56] <Assmitten> PVT CHAT AVAILABLE -
Oh Six Year Olds You Make Me Lol
Just discovered that my kid’s panther, who is black and named “Inky,” is actually “Encheie.”
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WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW
ed. note: I did not make this, found it on Something Awful. BUT THE QUESTION STILL STANDS
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me too
(via styro)
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Things I Learned Today
1. It takes about 15 minutes to squeeze a pound and a half of key limes.
2. About 35 key limes make up a pound and a half.
3. This amount of limes will make about 1 1/4 cups of juice.
4. When you drop the Pyrex measuring cup containing the 1 1/4 cups of juice it on the floor and bend to clean it, the juice will sting your knees.
5. Shortly thereafter, any juice that splashed up onto the lower part of the cabinets will begin to strip the varnish, which will drip back onto the floor in sad browny puddles.
The Pyrex measuring cup remains intact.
